My pub search is at a fag end

At first we met at the back bar of a pub in Bondi Junction before a smoking ban forced us to the less pleasant front bar.

Then the front bar also copped a ban, so we shuffled down the road to another pub.

How do locals feel about smoke-free outdoor dining?

 

In time, this joint too became smoke-free — and also infested with backgammon players — so we returned to the original pub, which by this time had opened a small alley for cigarette enthusiasts. But it was cold and, being toilet adjacent, richly urine-scented.

We moved again, this time to a venue in Surry Hills that also served excellent food. Then the cook quit, the food turned to rubbish, and we hoofed it to yet another Tuesday night site.

Our most recent pub had it all, including a large balcony for the tobacco-enhanced.

Last week, however, I arrived to find James inside and miserable. In line 
with the latest anti-smoking regulations, our balcony was now a no-go zone.

A staffer directed us to an internal balcony overlooking a generic pub courtyard.

Instead of the entertaining company we always found previously, this spot only had French backpackers.

Also, there was no street view offering amusing displays of incompetent parallel parking.

Obviously, we are now hunting for an acceptable replacement.

A plan to occupy our houses on alternate Tuesday evenings was vetoed by our wives, who have become used to the luxury of one solitary night per week. Their veto was handed down in extremely blunt terms.

The only possible way around these latest ridiculous cigarette restrictions is to beat the 
four-metre rule that separates smokers from non-smokers. But my experiments with a 
four-metre long cigarette holder are far from promising, and local hotels remain unreceptive to the idea of a four-metre cantilever than would swing smokers out over the street.

Readers, please help us.

James has three young children and, if a new venue cannot be located by tomorrow night, he will have to spend time with them.

If you know of any bar in Sydney that may be suitable, please email me. Mark it “critical”. Do it for the wives.

Source: The Daily Telegraph, Tim Blair, July 13^th 2015